A Faith Journey

Are you a planner or do you prefer to just take each day as it comes?  I am a planner and as such, I would like to have a general idea what to expect in the next week or so, but as I am quickly learning, I must live each day one a time. 

Only God knows what the next week or more holds.  I do hope to be writing my next letter from the Philippines.  I should leave by July 27^th so that I might arrive in time for staff meetings and beginning of the year orientation.  Students begin already on August 6^th. 

As you might guess, I am anxiously awaiting the okay to purchase my plane ticket and get the date set in stone.  The not knowing can certainly be wearing on a person.  I have begun packing and saying goodbyes, knowing that everything will happen very quickly. 

That does not leave me much time to do my last minute fundraising.  I do ask that if you have been praying about it, please take the next step and send in your response form; know that it is a gift you are giving to God.  If you are already a supporter, thank you so much for making that commitment.  You are valued more than you know!

Here is where I currently stand:

Current monthly commitments                       $1505
Minimum monthly expenses                           $1887
Monthly fundraising goal                               $2000

 

You may be wondering why I feel so called to teach at Faith Academy rather than finding a teaching job here in Pennsylvania.

The simplest response is that I feel God wants me at Faith Academy.  I was given the privilege to teach in Pennsylvania for two years.  I gained classroom managements skills that can only be learned by experiences.  I put my heart and soul into teaching but felt God has something different in mind.  That experience also helped me realize what I wanted in a school.

I wanted a school that valued teachers; that had experienced teachers and staff and had stood the test of time.  I wanted a school that I could learn from but that was also willing to grow and make changes to become better.  I wanted a school that I felt valued and felt that I could make a difference. 

Faith Academy had those things . . . it is a school with over 50 years of experience, it is a school with a mix of teachers from all area of life, it is a school that understands that teachers can be hard to find and has consciously made the choice to evaluate and make changes as necessary.

 

I love how Faith Academy is a family . . . we live, work and fellowship together.  We meet daily for prayer as a staff and we meet weekly for development in curriculum areas and teaching practices.  Faith Academy is by no means a perfect school, but a school that seeks God and his plan.

I am excited to be committed to Faith Academy for another three years.  I would be honored to have you on the team as I partner with church planters, language translators, and tent makers as I teacher their Kindergarten and pre-Kindergarten students.

Prayer:

• Trust that God will provide the needed support and that needed support comes in very soon
• Travel and transition times as I prepare for the unknown departure date
• Safe travels back to Manila and beginning of school

 Praise:

• Great time with family at my Pappy’s 80^th birthday celebration
• Enjoying time with friends

Important Dates to keep in mind:

July 31 – Aug 2           Staff Retreat/Meetings
Aug 6                          Student’s first day

I am sure many of us remember those middle school and high school days of trying to figure out who we are and who truly is a friend.  Those are no easy times in anyone's life.

However, somehow here in early adulthood, I find myself in a very similar situation.  I can't help but feel people run from me and fear my arrival in their church or home.  Why, you may ask . . . I am a missionary!

As much as I would love to meet people and have friends just to have them in my life.  As much as I try to make relationships more important than money . . . the truth is that those in my life have or most likely will be asked the question "would you be a monthly supporter?"

I struggle with the right time to share about my 'profession' and how it might be perceived.  You don't want to meet someone and right away ask for money.

I work and yes, it is work and no, I don't get paid.  To this modern world where we school to get a job and school some more to make more money and still we never make enough; that sounds crazy and maybe it is crazy and maybe I should be on medication.  I love my job and not many people could say that. 

I feel God has called me to teach at a school for missionary children, a school that does not pay its teachers.  I work just as any teacher at any school, I put in 7 hours each day with the kids, then a few more hours each day for writing lesson plans and meetings.  I continue with my schooling so that I can always be up to date on 'teaching practices.'  I do it for kids whose parents have also felt God calling them to work outside their home culture and for many of the kids, long before they were born or could have chosen otherwise for themselves.

So, as I struggle with 'raising support' and making phone calls and visiting churches, I keep focused on my reason for doing it.  It can be hard when phone call after phone call after phone call, you hear the same thing . . . we love what you are doing but we can't help you right now, no we really don't have time for you to visit us, we would like to help but we can't.  Truthfully, in the age of caller ID my chances of catching a real person are even limited as many just don't even answer.  But, after many calls, the ratio is not a great one, I get someone kind enough to say yes to at least a visit.  A visit gives hope and encourages.

So yes, I struggle with asking for money and the rejection that comes with it.  Though they may not be rejecting me . . I can't help but feel it personally.

People who have known me since I was small, people who have watched me grow, people who I would  have called family, those are the ones that seem to hurt more when the rejection comes.  Those are the ones that should see what God has done in my life.  Those are often the hardest to understand.

I have been blessed by some very new friends and surprise supporters.  People that I struggled to share my job with in the hopes it didn't seem I was meeting them just to get money.  They are the ones that seem to understand and be more willing to give.

I certainly don't want anyone to give out of obligation.  I want it to be something God has led in their heart.  So as I get very close to my 'departure' that may be postponed due to my lack of 'support,' I can only trust that God will be faithful and if it is His will, I will be on that plane headed back to 'my' life as God planned.  If for some reason His plan has changed, then I pray my heart is willing to hear that and accept it.  However, right now, I am still holding to that promise that He will provide in His time.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.”                                                  Jeremiah 29:11

I cannot believe it is summer again.  The year really did go fast at times, though it certainly had its struggles.  I am excited and anxious to return to the Philippines and that return is coming quickly.
During some of my visits this year and talking with various people, it allowed me time to reflect on ‘my story.’  It never ceases to surprise me how God works.  He had my life planned!

Kids:
I always knew that someday I wanted to work with kids . . . as a small child playing with my dolls; I would pretend I had an orphanage.  As I grew older, my ideas were shaped by my world and my orphanage idea turned into a day care idea.  I went to college for Early Childhood Education and spent those summers working in day care, never dreaming what that experience and passion would lead to.  It was during college that I learned of ‘international teaching’ and that is when God began to place the pieces of my puzzle together.

Puppets:
I was in high school when I started puppeteering.  As I think back, it amazes me how it all started.  I thought it was a great skill to learn for teaching, never expecting it to take me farther.  After high school, I struggled with the idea of continuing and whether I was getting to ‘old’ for puppets.  It was then that my puppet director introduced me to One Way Street and an internship program.  I figured after that summer I would either love puppets or hate puppets.  Needless to say I loved traveling and performing and sharing God’s love with kids all over the US through puppetry.  One Way Street continues to help me grow in this area . . . as I am blessed to help with puppetry festivals around the US when I am stateside.

Putting the puzzle together:
It was not easy to change ‘my’ direction and allow God to lead.  I was willing to let God direct as long as that kept me in the US.  After my time on the OWS ministry team, I saw much of the US and figured I could pretty much settle and be happy anywhere in the US . . . teach, do puppets, and work with kids.

Needless to say God was thinking otherwise, he was building the background to my puzzle which till that time was just a picture of kids and puppets.  I now am blessed to teach Kindergarten (great age), love real babies (rather than dolls) in an orphanage, and of course continue working with puppets (both here in the US and the Philippines).

I recently heard a song that really fit my life . . . how God calls each one of us differently as he puts the puzzle of our lives together.

Here am I by Down Here
Sometimes your calling, comes in dream, sometimes it comes in the Spirit’s breeze, you reach for the deepest hope in me, and call out for the things of eternity, but I’m a man, of dust and stains, you move in me, so I can say.
Here I am, Lord send me, all of my life, I make an offering, here I am, Lord send me, somehow my story is a part of your plan, here I am.
When setbacks and failures, and upset plans, test my faith and leave me with empty hands, are you not the closest when it’s hardest to stand?  I know that you will finish what you began, these broken parts, you redeem, become the song, that I can sing.
Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness, and the fear that I’ll fail you in the end, in this mess, I’m just one of the pieces, I can’t put this together but you can.

Praise:
Linda, my housemate in Manila, is doing much better . . . we both are looking forward to a healthy year together
A wonderful person has offered to help with the expense of my plane ticket to return to Manila (huge answer to prayer)
Great meetings with the YFC office and my personal assessments

Prayer:
Transition and packing as I prepare for my return
Healthy goodbyes to friends and family
Continued monthly support

Church Visit:
June 21^st Mount Eaton Church
Saylorsburg, PA

I am just hours away from taking my last final for the semester.  I should really be sleeping, but after several hours awake in my bed, I decided it was best to just get up.  I don't feel ready, though also very aware that no amount of studying will help me feel any more ready.  I have memorized all I can on the synoptic gospels and historical criticism and literary criticism and such.

It has been a stressful few days.  I had the most wonderful and relaxing weekend and I was blessed by a supporter willing to buy my plane ticket back to Manila.  What a huge blessing and relief!

So as I lay away and process the last two days, I realize how much 'transition' has hit me.  I have a slightly unexpected trip to Colorado coming up in a week and a half, which really is not a bad thing in itself.  I do love traveling and I love Colorado and will be excited to see friends there.   What stresses me, more than the last minute plans of air travel, transportation, and housing . . . the time I am giving up!

I had really hoped to use that weekend to visit Emily and Josh and meet new baby Caleb.  My time is quickly filling up and passing by and I am running out of time.

If all goes well, in just about two months, I will be packing and departing for my return to Manila.  As excited as I am to return; as difficult as this year has been; it is very hard to leave.  I have so much here I still wanted to do, so many friends I still wanted to see.

There will never be enough time for everything.  I need to trust God's plan for my life and follow his path.  I will miss things and will miss people, but God's plan is better than any I can ever make for myself.

So I will try to sleep and wake up in the morning ready as I can be to take my NTI exam.  I will then take each day one at a time and plan to make the most of my memories.  I will once again build my RAFT as I transition back to the world I left just one year ago.

Reconciliation
Affirmation
Fair-well
Think destination

I was a huge Michael W Smith fan for most of my high school and college career.  One of my favorite songs was never knowing when a person in our life might be an angel.  So my desire was to always try to be kind and friendly and helpful to those I meet.  I can't say I was always good at it and at times it was just not safe for me to help a stranger.  I know how often my car has left me sit and wonderful strangers have come to my rescue.  Every time I see someone on the side of the road I want so badly to help like I was helped, but know very well, it is just not safe me to to ever stop.

Today I was able to help a stranger . . . though it did run through my mind that I might be part of a game, I trusted God to protect me.  It was all pretty basic and simple.  I was leaving seminary and heading to my car when a woman waved from a distance.  It caught my eye but I didn't pay much attention since I was very sure I did not know her; figured someone was coming up behind me and she was waving at them.

Then she called to me, she explained that she was lost and needed help getting back to Philly.  I was like, I am headed to Philly!  Though in my head I was very confused how she could have possibly ended up in Lansdale, or even at my seminary if she was from downtown Philly.  She had to be very lost!  She mentioned ending up on a road that needed a ticket and needing to pay, I was like, do you mean the "PA turnpike"?  I was baffled as to how she didn't know what road she had been on . . . the only toll road in PA!  How could she have lived in Philly and not known the turnpike?

After some discussion, I explained that where I was heading in Philly was not close to where she was heading in Philly and suggested she get back on the turnpike to get home quickly.  Of course, she didn't have a good first experience so she was not up for that suggestion, so the next idea was that I could get her to 309 at which point I stressed her need to get off on route 73 and follow it to route 1, at which point she said she could get home.  However, as she followed me in the direction of my home, I began to worry about what if she follows me all the way, that would not be safe, I didn't want a stranger to know where I lived.  So I took my time, and when we got to 73, I motioned for her to get off, however, she continued to follow me.

I must admit that I was a bit nervous at this point, what might her plan be?  Why did she not take my directions?  So I took the next exit and drove her to where that road connected with route 73 and proceeded to another seminary where I periodically study, which happened to be in the direction she needed to go.  This time, I stressed that she was to follow that road all the way to route 1 and allowed her to leave first; that way I was sure she would not follow me any further.  Sadly, she pulled over just about a mile or two down the road at a local college. (not sure why she did that)

I figured at that point I had done all I could, she was just not understanding.  I felt bad, but no longer comfortable helping. I do hope she was able to find her way home.  If not, maybe I will be seeing her again still wondering the streets of PA.  I do hope she does not end up in the Poconos or somewhere far.

For those concerned, she does not know my name or anything else about me.